Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Some Things Never Change....

I think I spend too much time finding fault in men and if, in theory, I find someone who is faithful, that man is abnormal by all counts and I’d double my efforts to prove he isn’t really as faithful as he claims to be.

Once, I was so mad at my boyfriend and I took out all my frustration by fucking a married man who had seemed very in love and faithful to his wife. Earlier that day at a coffee shop, I had met a man named Fred. He was in his forties and was married to a young Filipina in her late twenties. He had wanted to introduce me to his wife, saying I and his wife will get along perfectly because we both loved clubs and parties. He talked about his wife like he was really in love with her and had repeated a few times too many that he had not fooled around since he married her five years ago. He even showed me a picture of his wife which he kept in his wallet. I didn’t have it in me but somehow, I backed off because I believed he was faithful and in love. I didn’t flirt with him but gave him my number nonetheless.

But as I said, I never really believe that crap. Married men who say they don’t fool around say it out loud because they wanna believe that they are. They really aren’t.

Late that night, after fighting with Ed over the phone and crying like a raving maniac in my favorite club, I was in bed with Fred.

I remember calling him up, asking where his wife was and him saying that she was out partying in the same club I was at. She doesn’t come home until around 5 in the morning, he told me.

Can I come over then? I asked him.

I will pick you up and we can go somewhere.

We had drunken sex..or at least I did.

Nothing ever happened again after that. I had lost his number. He hadn’t initiated contact.

And well, Ed…He does the same thing, fucks someone else whenever he gets the chance but mostly, he likes young girls.

I’m still the same me. Out to prove to the world that men can’t be trusted and yet I am with the one man who is the epitome of distrust.

And he is still the same man. He claims to love me but won’t think twice to sleep with someone else, blaming distance and missing me too much as reasons why he sleeps with other women. You’d think in a few months Ed and I had fallen madly in love and we’ve gone exclusive.

Some things never change and I'm getting tired of him.

I had been gone for nearly three months but I am back now to continue my love story. This may not be best love story but it is a story of love nonetheless.